Yesterday was not the best day. My car suffered hail damage, but that did not ruin my day. I found out I had a bladder infection. Though a bit of a concern for me, I was not feeling good, but not terrible either, I just knew something was off. I decided I should go in, my only self diagnosis was a UTI, but I was not certain of that. There was a lower back ache, but not bad. An achy, flu like feeling off and on, but mild. Now that I have a MS diagnosis, I know it is possible that I can miss symptoms because some of those nerves may be numb causing me to be unaware. Normally I would have waited it out to see if it would get worse, but in my case with this diagnosis, waiting might mean an infection that grows out of control and by the time I notice problems I would need heavier antibiotics than doctor prescribed antibiotics. It could mean heavy duty antibiotics via IV and a hospital stay. I have been praying God would give me wisdom about things that I feel and notice to know what to ignore and what to pay attention to. He was good to me this time in sending me to the doctor so I could find this infection before it got bad. But the UTI did not ruin my day. The heavy winds blew down a portion of our backyard fence, it will need to be fixed. But that did not ruin my day. The phone call I received at 4:40pm on Friday afternoon sent me into a tail spin. Our insurance changed April 1st and I had called to change it with the pharmacy that mail delivers my MS medication. They called to inform me that on my new insurance my co-pay for my medication would be $717.42 (a month/ for the rest of my life....) My new co-pay for this specialty drug was 20%. It could have been worse, it could have been 25%. Immediately I wanted to throw up, but by the grace of God was able to hold it together to talk to the kind lady on the phone delivering the bad news. She advised me to call Shared Solutions, the company I go through to get my medication and ask them to apply for one of the programs they for people who are in situations like mine. It was 4:40 pm on Friday, they were open until 5:00pm. I was so grateful I would not have to live with the stress of wondering how much they would be able to help with this amount of money. I was able to talk to a representative. They talked me through the process, got the information they needed, and will be sending me an application within the next 24-48 business hours. Based on what they were telling me, it looks as though we will qualify for their program and my $717.42 co-pay will be picked up by them. Relieved that this probably will be taken care of helped, but I was still rattled! I called Brad, he was so wonderful. He did not freak out or sound worried at all. His response, "We are going to do what is best for you." I love this man. But I knew deep down it was stressful for him too. That is a lot of money that is never ending. Then my father in law's wife called to reassure me that she would be calling our insurance people on Monday because this was not the plan we signed up for and to not worry. It was so sweet of her to make sure I did not stress about any of this. God was so good to QUICKLY send His reassurance that He is taking care of me and providing for me and my needs through the kind representatives I talked to on the phone, my husband and my father in law's wife. And God has provided in my MS friend Mandi who needed to switch MS medication about 2 months ago and gave me her left over Copaxone, a six week supply. While I know this insurance/large co-pay situation will work itself out, I do not have to stress about not having the medication that I need in the meantime. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.
After that I needed a little time alone so I ran to the store to get some hair ribbon for Presley. On the way home I noticed the diamond in the ring Brad bought me for Christmas was missing. It was there earlier in the day. It was there when I was on the phone about 5ish, but at 8pm it was gone. It could be at home, in my car, at Michael's or Kohl's or some parking lot in between. That was the topper of the day. I was sad, because Brad bought it for me. I loved the ring and now a big part of it was gone. Had not added it to our insurance yet. I did shed some tears over the $717 and the loss of my diamond, but not as many as I am sure Satan wanted me to shed. God in His Wisdom, mercy and kindness had been preparing me such a day. The book I grabbed this morning on my way to doctor office was "The Hole in Our Gospel." Putting my focus on what really in important in life, and it is not stuff. The car, the fence, the ring, even the medication is stuff. Jesus Christ is what is important. His promises are true. He will provide, He will take care, He is sufficient no matter the storm, He is sufficient in this storm. My focus is to be on Him and Him alone, not on my current circumstance and my own ability to take care of it. God will take care of the circumstance in His way, in His time, that I can trust!
I also though about Sharon Washburn. http://sharonwashburn.blogspot.com She is on a road she never would have chosen. God has chosen not to heal her of her cancer, in fact the cancer has been growing at a rapid speed. The doctors do not have much hope or guidance to give her. But she has such a deep spiritual foundation. She has remained prayerful, praising God even in this storm. Even when the outlook of this storm is predicted to get much worse and the end will most likely be going home to be with her Heavenly Father much sooner than she or her family had anticipated. I ran into her at the soccer game this morning. She saw me and immediately came to hug me. She was HAPPY, happy to be able to see her grandson play soccer, happy to see friends, happy to be able to enjoy THIS day. She is a testament to God's goodness even in the hardest of places. I so appreciate her strong faith in the Lord. Her strength gives me strength.
So when you put things in proper prospective, when you focus on God and not on yourself, even in the hardest of circumstances, you can still praise God and know The One who is the creator of all things will take care of your every need. We just need to TRUST in Him and His ways.
PS- After writing this post, I cleaned my kitchen and guess what I found on my countertop, a diamond. There were several diamonds that had fallen out of my ring. A middle stone and several small baguettes. I did not find the small baguettes, but the middle stone was on my counter about to be wiped off, but God allowed me to notice it before it was lost! God cares about even the small things. I never cease to be amazed by His goodness, kindness, and love for me!
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