Painful

It is September 18, 2012. Hard to believe it has been 18 days since I was awaken at an early hour to receive bad news. It was Saturday morning, September 1st, 7:10 am when the phone rang. I saw that it was Amanda. I answered. I knew if she was calling that early on a Saturday there was a reason. So I answered. I know a call that early on a Saturday cannot be good. Yet that did not compute. When the voice who spoke when I picked up was our good college friend Marc it still did not compute. When he spoke the words, "Amanda wanted me to call to let you know there has been a car accident" still my mind did not prepare me. "and Bryce was killed."

One of my closest friends is now walking a road no parent wants to walk. I love her and her entire family so much. It is so painful to watch. That seems so selfish and ridiculous to say. It is not me who has to walk that painful road. It is her. It is not me who has to wake up each morning and try to go on with life. It is her. It is not me who lays down each night with my mind racing about a son who is no longer here. It is her.

What can I do? A helpless feeling overcomes me often. I think of her multiple times a day and pray. I live 5 hours away. Other than praying, the options left to me are texts, phone calls and emails. Visits of course, but not nearly often enough. I call, I text, I will email. She answers, she talks, she texts. She is real. I cry when it is revealed, not in front of her. I pray harder, more specific. Their faith is rock solid. The service was God centered praise. They are living out their faith in a unimaginable situation. I know they are an encouragement to many. I'm sure they are glad they can encourage others, but they are not trying to. They are just trying to make it through this day.

Even in this hard place, she is real. She is allowing me and others to walk along side her. She is staying connected to those who love her. She is showing the good, and the bad. She is not letting Satan get a foothold. I pray her strength will continue.

June 5, 2012

Perfection. The Lord planted the desire for it in every human heart. We should not seek to fulfill the desire for perfection in us, other people, in earthly pleasures, or through achievements but only through the Lord. The Lord will fulfill our yearning for perfection Attribute: perfection .... I believe that God reveals Himself through the Bible I believe the revelation of God's truth ALWAYS demands a response I believe the Holy Spirit will proclaim the gospel in word and action

Front Row Seat

I knew from the moment I heard the message on my answering machine in January of 2001 that Brad was the one God intended for me. I have never waivered. Spiritually, Brad loved the Lord, he had asked Jesus into his heart when he was younger, I believe he has been baptized with the Spirit even though he has not been baptized with water. But he had little Bible knowledge. He has willingly gone to church, gotten involved, been a wonderful Father to his girls, been a willing and active participant. But his Bible knowledge has been limited to what you learn on Sunday mornings. Not unlike many Christians. Limited Bible knowledge has limited his ability to be the spiritual leader in our family. I knew that when I married him. Water baptism has been a topic of conversation since I have known him. He desires to be baptized. We have gone to the class our church offers. Brad is very private, it is hard for him to want to do something so public. But just a few weeks ago on the way home from the lake, he said he wanted to get baptized soon. We discussed it then, we've discussed it before, we've discussed it since. I have not pushed. Why? Because I know baptism is more than a ritual of being immersed in water. It is being transformed. If transformation does not occur, immersing yourself in water means nothing. It must be from the inside out!

I have never worried. I know, have always known, when Brad was ready the transformation would occur. I have had to be patient. Meet Brad where he is, and speak when the Holy Spirit led me to speak and to be silent when he led me to be silent.

For me BSF has been a tool that has drawn me closer to the Lord and influenced and change my view of and relationship with God. When Presley was born I began to pray that Brad and his father would take Presley to BSF. At the time, it seemed like an impossible request. For Brad, because going to a bible study and having to speak and share answers would be difficult for him. But I knew God could accomplish the impossible. He moved and softened Brad's heart and Brad is now going to BSF. Willingly going to BSF. Our first lesson had a verse that talked about how the Holy Spirit would guide you to understanding. Brad and I were able to talk about that. I was able to encourage him by that verse, encourage him to trust that the Holy Spirit would guide him and enable him to understand Scripture.

We just completed lesson three.

We studied Acts 3, where Peter heals the crippled beggar. We have been talking about speaking boldly, trusting the Holy Spirit's power, and expecting the Holy Spirit to do the work He came here to accomplish.

Peter and the others at the temple gate called Beautiful had a front row seat to witness this crippled beggars physical and spiritual healing. And they were filled with wonder and amazement.

I have been praying for Brad to be transformed by the Holy Spirit into the man I know God created him to be. He is not there yet, but I see the Holy Spirit at work in his life in a powerful way. Thru BSF, thru church, thru people. I see him changing, transforming. It is not immediate like the crippled beggar, but it is happening. God has been gracious enough to give me a front row seat at the temple gate Beautiful to witness this wonderful, amazing transformation!

June 4, 2012

God's peace, transcends understanding. The reason for not having it, me. Lord,please enable me to allow Your light to soak into my inner being so I can experience this perfect peace that transcends all understanding. Attribute: peace. 2 thess 3:16 I know You control every detail,each moment of this day. Enable me to trust in Your plan, to remember Your way is perfect! I want to stay conscious of You throughout today.i want the Light of Your Presence to shine on me. Attribute: perfect ps 18:30 Attribute: healer Be still, let go of cares and worries so I can receive Your peace My focus is to be on You,not my performance My peace displaces fear and worry. Stay alert, let thankfulness and trust stand guard, turning back fear before it can gain a foothold. Challenging times are opportunities to trust in You. Grip Your hand tightly, stay in close communication with You. Let my thoughts and spoken words be richly flavored win trust and thankfulness.

May 28, 2012

Ask the Holy Spirit to control my thinking.
Clothe myself with the mind of Christ each and every morning so I will be prepared for the day.


Attribute: Immortal

May 26 2012

attributes Faithful, mighty, unchanging Pray For the Holy Spirit to enable and transform to be FILLED continuously with the Holy Spirit Being FILLED with the Holy Spirit is to be the NORMAL for the chrittian life, any other life is subnormal. that I will accomplish God's will by being filled with the Holy Spirit and not in my own effort That the Lord will anoint me with the Holy Spirit to do His will (Jesus prayed for this in Acts 10:38, if Jesus is praying for anointing how much more should I?) For the strength to be DILIGENT in my prayer life To be be prepared for the power and persecution that diligent prayer will bring (prayer leads to power to witness, resulting in miracles/changed lives, and persecution/opposition by the evil one) I know God, the Holy Spirit, is only able to work through me when I surrender COMPLETELY to Him! Pray for HUMILITY. Do I do the Lord's will (work) with humility without deliberately drawing attention to myself? The apostles had to rely on His Spirit presence within them to complete the work to which they were called for, not His physical presence. The work God calls us to do is IMPOSSIBLE in our own strength, I must COMPLETELY surrender EVERY part of my life. Lord, where do I need to completely surrender to You? I believe that Jesus gives me the HOly Spirit to empower me, to be His witness Jesus can only work through me if I completely surrender to the Holy Spirit Lord, please enable me to completely surrender so You can work through me. I want to be empowered by the Spirit. O my children, Presley and Kennedy, hear the Lord's teaching; listen to the words of His mouth. he will open His mouth in parables, He will utter hidden things, things from old-things I have heard and known, what my parents have told me. I will not hide them from you, I will tell the next generation, I will tell you of the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power and the wonders he has done. He decreed statues for Jacob nd established the law in Isreal, which he commanded our forefathers to teach to their children, which I am teaching to you. So the next generation, you, would know them, even the children who are yet to be born. So they in turn will tell their children. I pray you will put your trust in God and not forget His decrees but would keep His commandments. That you will not be like your forefathers, stubborn and rebellious, whose hearts are or loyal to God, hose spirits were not faithful. PSaLMS 78:1-8

God at Work

God is at work. I know He is. I trust Him completely. I have seen Him at work, but I have had to be patient. I have had to be bold and speak at times, but mostly I have had to be silent and allow the Holy Spirit to work in His time in His way.

I knew Brad loved the Lord, I knew He wanted to do what pleased God. I knew he could have been immersed long ago. I know I could have badgered and nagged. But The Spirit told me to remain silent. To be patient. To allow Him to do the work. 11 years. That is how long I have prayed. I knew my prayers were not in vain. I knew he would do it when he was ready. I knew when he did do it, it would be for the right reasons. I knew when he would do it, he would become a new creation.

I knew what a BIG deal it was. I knew many would want to witness, want to share in our joy. Brad was embarrassed, because he knew it was something he has needed to do, yet he has waited so long. Brad, really a newbie in Christ, had no idea the impact. No idea how important it is to make a public confession of faith. No idea the impact it would have on others. He really wanted to do it with no witnesses, just immediate family. He was okay when I suggested a Wednesday night before small group. He was okay that an email was sent out to invite our small group to come a few minutes early to share in our joy. He was okay with me inviting my family and his. I wish he would have chosen a day when his dad would have been in town. Looking back, knowing what he knows now, I think he would have. Instead I sent them a text.

On Monday I received some texts from friends who had read their email sending congratulations, saying they would be there. One of my favorites came from Monica Head, "Annie wondered who would be baptizing Brad, perhaps he will ask me!" There were emails saying the same thing. Teachers and Moms at preschool on Tuesday offered the same. On Wednesday morning I received a text from a long time friend who attends the main campus, she had heard and wanted to come. I told two other long time friends at BSF that morning, both shared in my excitement and said they would not miss it. Unknowingly, one friend called her parents (an elder at the main campus) to come. She said they cried when they heard the news. They changed their plans so they could come. The children's minister at church called one of the elders we are close to at the main campus to let them know. We did not know. Tears came to my eyes as I saw them walk in the door. Almost everyone in our small group came. The few who could not attend, sent texts or emails, expressing their sorrow at being unable to attend.

We felt the love. I was not surprise because that is how the body of Christ, how the church is suppose to work. We were deeply touched. We felt deeply loved.

"God's purpose is for the church, the new humanity, to occupy with Christ the

central place in the universe. The church displays the unfathomable greatness of

God's wisdom to angels an to people. The church is rescued from the pit of sin.

God enables the church to triumph in her extended conflict with Satan's invisible,

evil forces. The church lives by faith, supported by grace. The mysterious paradox

is that the church despised by the world, seemingly helpless and of base origins,

WILL BECOME the vehicle of God's glory, designed to teach an impressive lesson

to the universe." BSF notes - The Acts of the Apostles Lesson 24 page 5

While I was overwhelmed and excited about the love that poured out as a result of being part of the body of Christ, I was equally proud of the example that was shown to Brad's family. Brad's really does not fully realize how much of an influence he has on his family. His sister was able to come up from Austin. I did not tell him I had texted her or that she was going to be able to come. I wanted it to be a surprise. Brad's sister has not been baptized. Brad's sister has some knowledge of Jesus. Very little of that knowledge comes from spending time in His Word or belonging to part the body of Christ. (That could be said of many) Most of her knowledge comes from the times she has gone to church, from culture, from her mom and other avenues I may be unaware of. She made a few comments to indicate where she was in her walk. She said it was weird that I had sent that text when I did, because she had been talking with her husband recently about getting baptized herself. She was surprised to find out that a fellow church member from our small group was going to baptize Brad, not a minister. She did not really understand how you went about getting baptized or who was suppose to do it. She was surprised to learn that Brad was going to be baptizing Presley in a few weeks.

As I looked around at the crowd of people there to celebrate this new creation, this new life I prayed that she would see the church as God intended. I was so proud that our small group was a vehicle of God's glory, and I prayed she would see why belonging to the body of Christ was so important.

One of the members that Brad is the closest too was unable to be there. He called Brad the night before and talked to him for a long time. He expressed how sad he was that he was going to be out of town. He also told him how excited he was for him, how he had been praying for this for so long. Paul often expressed how his joy was often found in learning that others had come to Christ and believed in the good news of the gospel. Being part of that in any way brings such joy. That is how I feel. But I think Brad was a bit overwhelmed to learn that others felt that joy. That others would care enough to be praying, and would care enough that he was made new. But it is joyful. It is incredible that God allows us any part, big or small. In reality it is all HIM, but the small part we do contribute in obedience is richly rewarded with the joy that comes from seeing one come to Christ and be made new. That friend called his boss (who plays golf at the same club as Brad and his dad) to tell him the good news that night. The next time his boss saw Brad at the club he came over and hugged him and told him how proud, how excited he was for him. Yet another example of the Body of Christ as a vehicle of God's glory. It was meaningful and touching to Brad. But I know Brad's dad was watching, he witnessed. His dad could not have missed the glory.

God is at work.

All I have to do is be obedient to the Spirit and allow the Spirit to do His work. My reward is the joy. Now I am experiencing the joy of Brad. I continue to pray that in the future I will get to add to the joy!

A New Creation

3.7.12

A day I have been praying for for a very long time. A day I knew would come. But not at my urging. It is not enough for me to want. It is there, it is always there. Grace, a free gift to all, just sitting there, waiting to be claimed. But it must be claimed. Man must make the choice to claim the grace and all the spiritual blessings that come along with it. Such an amazing gift. Even more amazing that it is free, of no cost to us. It just takes a commitment. A commitment that is made in the heart first. But that act of public confession, it seems unimportant or perhaps unnecessary or just misunderstood. Some times is it just embarrassment that you have failed to yet complete that step. Or it could be a multitude of other reasons. The act of public confession is an important step. Not in the commitment you have made in your heart. Not in your love for Christ. Not in the Holy Spirit indwelling your heart. But an important step. A completion. A witness. Not so much for yourself, but for others. It is an act of obedience. Today Brad was obedient. Today Brad became a NEW CREATION. Today Brad is fully able to claim ALL the spiritual blessings he has IN CHRIST.

How did he come to this act of obedience? Really only he can say. I have seen God's hand on him since the moment we met. From my eyes, I have been privileged to see God at work in his life for the past 11 years. God has even allowed me to play a small part. What a privilege. What a joy.

What a special day. He chose a Wednesday. He chose to have an email sent out late Monday afternoon to just our small group to invite them to come a few minutes early to small group to share in our joy. I do not think he was prepared for the response. I started to receive texts about their excitement for Brad and our family. One of my favorites came from Monica, "When I told Annie (Kennedy's 4 year old friend), she asked who would baptize him? Then she said, do you think he will pick me?" We belong to a special church family. I knew many would make an effort to be there early to witness, and they did. Several men were very sad they were going to be out of town, they called Brad to tell him just that. Good News travels fast. A good friend, an old friend, a faithful friend heard and texted me the morning of wanting to know when and where, their family was coming. I told two other good, faithful, old friends at BSF that morning. They said they would not miss it. And they did not. And two elders, who have special places in our hearts heard and they came, on very short notice. How special that was to both Brad and I.

A sweet friend, Byron, was gracious to do the honors. Such sweet words spoken by him. Such kind, sweet words spoken by so many.

When Brad stepped out into the baptistry I know he was overwhelmed with the number of people who were there. So many, and so many children crowded as close as you could get. Presley front and center, Kennedy close by. A day they will never forget. A day I will never forget. A day Brad will never forget. A day the Lord will never forget. A day one of His chosen claimed his gift of grace! What a glorious day!