Answered Prayer

I have been praying for some time that my little Presley would meet a sweet friend. Presley is a bit shy. She does not feel confident to go up and introduce herself to people. She sits back and watches and waits. You pray your child will make good decision and choose friends wisely. Up until this point, Presley is liked by all, but has not really connected with anyone in particular. She has had a few friends that she really likes. When I was her age I had a best friend. A friend I still keep up with today. I would like for her to experience that close type of friendship. The girls at church are sweet, but that connection has not been made. So I have been praying. God has been sweet to answer that pray. Presley has been talking about a little girl in her 1st grade class. For awhile all I knew about this little girl is that she had the most blues in the class. (Great behavior) So I knew she must be a pretty good person. Presley has been asking to have a play date with her. So I wrote a note to her mom and sent it to school for the teacher to send home in the little girl's folder. I got a phone call that afternoon and we met shortly after. What a sweet friend Presley has made. Her family loves the Lord. They go to a wonderful church. Her mother works in Carroll ISD and one of the schools she works in is the one my mother-in-law works in! They know one another. Her mom and I had very similar check lists! I think Presley may have met a life long friend! She has chosen well!

Letter to my future self

There are some opportunities that lay ahead. Big opportunities. Opportunities I did not anticipate, but knew would appear. Does that make since. I have always known God would reveal His plan to me when He saw fit. I feel like this might be it. I am still in prayer. I know if this is not His plan that I can trust Him to let me know with certainty. And I am nervous. If this is God's plan, I know it has the possibility to be BIG. Big financially, which would be awesome. But BIG because I am in a different place than I was at 20, 30 or even 39. I know if this is God's plan and we are blessed beyond comprehension that Satan will be lurking, crouching ready to seize any weak moment that WILL present itself. I know God could choose a different path and this may be nothing. But I am the type of person who likes to anticipate, so I can be prepared to handle any situation. This has the potential to be HUGE, so I want to be mentally prepared, on guard. So before this roller coaster ride begins, I want to remember. I want to remember NOW.

I want to remember:

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

He gives, He takes away.

God is my focus, ALWAYS!!!

Apart from Him I am nothing, can do nothing.

Everything I have belongs to Him

Give back to Him what is His already!

Jesus was a servant, we are to be His servant.

Look for ways to serve

Look for ways to praise God and offer SACRIFICES to Him

To take care of the sick, widowed and orphans.

Things are just that Things, the thing that matters to most are SOULS

WE are here to WIN as many as possible.

People are drawn to Christ through the light in us

We, I am His Witness.

People are ALWAYS watching.

My every action should be a reflection of Him

The only way that will happen is if I stay close to the Lord!

That is how I will be FILLED with the HOLY Spirit and how the Holy Spirit will be able to revel Himself to others.

It will never be me, but the Holy Spirit through me!

Satan will attack, time and time and time again. He will not give up ever

I must be on watch. I must be armed. I cannot let my guard down, not for a minute, because he will not.

Trust in the Lord and His leading!

Sept 3, 2011

1. Medical Update- This summer has been the hottest since 1980. Seriously hot. The second you step outside you feel like you are in an oven baking from all sides. Truly miserable. For about 90% of MS patients heat is an issue and makes them experience symptoms that will go away once they cool off. I have tried to spend my time in the A/C. And I must say the heat has not a terrible effect on my MS symptoms and I am very grateful. But it has been a bit of a rough summer. I had a persistent low grade fever (99.1-99.5) from the end of June until the middle of August. Not all day, but everyday, usually about mid day until bedtime. I just felt yucky and tired. I think it was sinus issues. I felt the sinus cavities in my cheeks swell, and burn. But my nasal passages were fine. They did an x-ray and did not see anything. The good news was it was NOT a UTI. I went back to Dr Allen at the end of July before our trip to Atlantis because it was not getting better. He put me on Bactrim for 30 days to see if it would get rid of any infection and he drew blood for testing. My blood work came back normal. About 11 days a rash broke out over my entire body, so I went back. Drug allergy, no more sulfa based drugs for me. I felt like my fever was a bit higher and lasting longer. We did another urine test and it was positive for a UTI. So he put me on 250 mg of Cipro twice a day. A week later my fever was not better and I wanted to rule out the UTI so I went back in and my urine test show my UTI was not getting better, not worse but not better. So 750mg of Cipro twice a day for 7 days and I came back a week later to follow up. I think the last dose of med's worked. No more UTI. (I think we did figure out why I was getting the UTI and came up with a game plan to hopefully prevent future infections) It has been a slow process and a long summer, but I am fever free and feeling better. My sinus cavities are still bothersome, but I can handle that. I had a new MRI. The MSAA was very kind to pay for test, (my insurance c0-pay is $1000). The MSAA will pay for one every two years. It takes 6 months for the medicine to build up in your system. So my doctor will use this MRI as baseline. Any changes from here on out may mean my medication is not working and we might need to consider a change. He said my MRI looked great and he would see me in December for a routine visit!

2. BSF is about to begin. I love this time of year. Especially this year. Brad is going for the first time!!!!!! And he will be taking Presley to the children's program. I think they are both excited. The whole family will be studying the book of ACTS.

3. One of my favorite songs right now is "Reach" by Peter Furler

"You hold the weight of the world, still I don't slip through your hands."

"I fall again and again, but you whisper you're still mine."

"You feel the pain of the world, but you NEVER push mine aside."

"You REACH for me, with a LOVE that QUIETS ALL my FEARS.

And you REACH for me, like a father wipes away the tears

So many people in this world

BUT I HEAR YOU CALLING OUT MY NAME.

You REACH for me.

Now I'm never gonna be the same.

Love that song. Such a reminder He loves me, He sees me, He sees my hurts and fears, He hears me, I am never pushed aside. But most of all that HIS LOVE is what quiets all my fears!

A reminder that GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

Health

God is good. He continues to provide what I need. I am reminded that I need to have faith in Him and Him alone.

I would have to say overall I have felt good, but have continued to pray for wisdom in regard to my health.

I have had a persistent low grade fever for the past month. Not sure why? Neither is my doctor. My sinus cavities in my cheeks feel swollen at times, but my nasal cavity looks fine. The xray they took revealed nothing. The urine samples, normal. The blood work normal. So the dr put me on a sulfa based antibiotic drug for 30 days.

Yesterday, 11 days in, a terrible rash broke out over my entire body. And my low grade fever moved from 99.4 to 99.6-100.2. The rash is from the sulfa drugs, I am now allergic. The fever???? I did another urine sample, my numbers are no longer negative. So we have switched me to Cipro 250 mg twice a day.

I am praying this drug will work and kill any infection that may be lurking in my body. My doctor told me to call back in two weeks to report how I am feeling. If I am still feeling bad and battling the low grade fever, I think the next stop in an infectious disease doctor. Nothing about that visit sounds fun!

Blessings

I wish I were good with words, perhaps that is why I like songs so much, God has gifted people to be able to express themselves so well through song. "Blessings," by Laura Story is one of those songs that touches me. I like the lyrics. I can relate to much of what she says, but there is a line at the end of the song that is a good reminder for me when I want to be angry or feel sorry for myself.

"What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy?"

Sometimes I need that reminder, we are in this world, but we are not of it. This world is my temporary home. One day I will be in my permanent home where we all will be whole. It is easy to become complacent and forget we have something, somewhere to look forward to. I want to remain thirsty for my real home as long as I am here. If discomfort, pain, hardship serves as that needed reminder to me then I will be thankful for His mercies in disguise. I appreciate this song helping me to remember.

Blessings

Laura Story

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near?

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy?

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise?

What is really important

Yesterday was not the best day. My car suffered hail damage, but that did not ruin my day. I found out I had a bladder infection. Though a bit of a concern for me, I was not feeling good, but not terrible either, I just knew something was off. I decided I should go in, my only self diagnosis was a UTI, but I was not certain of that. There was a lower back ache, but not bad. An achy, flu like feeling off and on, but mild. Now that I have a MS diagnosis, I know it is possible that I can miss symptoms because some of those nerves may be numb causing me to be unaware. Normally I would have waited it out to see if it would get worse, but in my case with this diagnosis, waiting might mean an infection that grows out of control and by the time I notice problems I would need heavier antibiotics than doctor prescribed antibiotics. It could mean heavy duty antibiotics via IV and a hospital stay. I have been praying God would give me wisdom about things that I feel and notice to know what to ignore and what to pay attention to. He was good to me this time in sending me to the doctor so I could find this infection before it got bad. But the UTI did not ruin my day. The heavy winds blew down a portion of our backyard fence, it will need to be fixed. But that did not ruin my day. The phone call I received at 4:40pm on Friday afternoon sent me into a tail spin. Our insurance changed April 1st and I had called to change it with the pharmacy that mail delivers my MS medication. They called to inform me that on my new insurance my co-pay for my medication would be $717.42 (a month/ for the rest of my life....) My new co-pay for this specialty drug was 20%. It could have been worse, it could have been 25%. Immediately I wanted to throw up, but by the grace of God was able to hold it together to talk to the kind lady on the phone delivering the bad news. She advised me to call Shared Solutions, the company I go through to get my medication and ask them to apply for one of the programs they for people who are in situations like mine. It was 4:40 pm on Friday, they were open until 5:00pm. I was so grateful I would not have to live with the stress of wondering how much they would be able to help with this amount of money. I was able to talk to a representative. They talked me through the process, got the information they needed, and will be sending me an application within the next 24-48 business hours. Based on what they were telling me, it looks as though we will qualify for their program and my $717.42 co-pay will be picked up by them. Relieved that this probably will be taken care of helped, but I was still rattled! I called Brad, he was so wonderful. He did not freak out or sound worried at all. His response, "We are going to do what is best for you." I love this man. But I knew deep down it was stressful for him too. That is a lot of money that is never ending. Then my father in law's wife called to reassure me that she would be calling our insurance people on Monday because this was not the plan we signed up for and to not worry. It was so sweet of her to make sure I did not stress about any of this. God was so good to QUICKLY send His reassurance that He is taking care of me and providing for me and my needs through the kind representatives I talked to on the phone, my husband and my father in law's wife. And God has provided in my MS friend Mandi who needed to switch MS medication about 2 months ago and gave me her left over Copaxone, a six week supply. While I know this insurance/large co-pay situation will work itself out, I do not have to stress about not having the medication that I need in the meantime. God is good all the time, all the time God is good.

After that I needed a little time alone so I ran to the store to get some hair ribbon for Presley. On the way home I noticed the diamond in the ring Brad bought me for Christmas was missing. It was there earlier in the day. It was there when I was on the phone about 5ish, but at 8pm it was gone. It could be at home, in my car, at Michael's or Kohl's or some parking lot in between. That was the topper of the day. I was sad, because Brad bought it for me. I loved the ring and now a big part of it was gone. Had not added it to our insurance yet. I did shed some tears over the $717 and the loss of my diamond, but not as many as I am sure Satan wanted me to shed. God in His Wisdom, mercy and kindness had been preparing me such a day. The book I grabbed this morning on my way to doctor office was "The Hole in Our Gospel." Putting my focus on what really in important in life, and it is not stuff. The car, the fence, the ring, even the medication is stuff. Jesus Christ is what is important. His promises are true. He will provide, He will take care, He is sufficient no matter the storm, He is sufficient in this storm. My focus is to be on Him and Him alone, not on my current circumstance and my own ability to take care of it. God will take care of the circumstance in His way, in His time, that I can trust!

I also though about Sharon Washburn. http://sharonwashburn.blogspot.com She is on a road she never would have chosen. God has chosen not to heal her of her cancer, in fact the cancer has been growing at a rapid speed. The doctors do not have much hope or guidance to give her. But she has such a deep spiritual foundation. She has remained prayerful, praising God even in this storm. Even when the outlook of this storm is predicted to get much worse and the end will most likely be going home to be with her Heavenly Father much sooner than she or her family had anticipated. I ran into her at the soccer game this morning. She saw me and immediately came to hug me. She was HAPPY, happy to be able to see her grandson play soccer, happy to see friends, happy to be able to enjoy THIS day. She is a testament to God's goodness even in the hardest of places. I so appreciate her strong faith in the Lord. Her strength gives me strength.

So when you put things in proper prospective, when you focus on God and not on yourself, even in the hardest of circumstances, you can still praise God and know The One who is the creator of all things will take care of your every need. We just need to TRUST in Him and His ways.

PS- After writing this post, I cleaned my kitchen and guess what I found on my countertop, a diamond. There were several diamonds that had fallen out of my ring. A middle stone and several small baguettes. I did not find the small baguettes, but the middle stone was on my counter about to be wiped off, but God allowed me to notice it before it was lost! God cares about even the small things. I never cease to be amazed by His goodness, kindness, and love for me!

Amazing..

I have been studying Isaiah this year. I must admit it has been a struggle. I have had to make myself do my lesson each and every week. But God has been good to bless me, enlighten me, reveal Himself to me, each and every week in spite of my lack of enthusiasm. Looking back, He has taught me many needed lessons. I have felt much like the Israelites this year, tempted to focus on my circumstances and be filled with fear and anxiety. But again and again I have seen God calling them and me to focus on Him, His greatness, His grace, His mercy, His sovereignty, His sufficiency. "Those who hope in the Lord will never be disappointed." Not hope in tomorrow, next year, in solutions, in the many things that have been my focus. No those who hope in the Lord and the Lord alone, will never be disappointed. It does not mean my circumstances will change. They may change, but they may get worse. But if my hope is in Him I will not be disappointed.

I have seen God do amazing things this year. In me. In my children. In my family. In my extended family. Some impossible things. Now is not the time to record them yet, but in time I will. Right now I feel blessed God has allowed me to witness the transformation going on in the lives of those I love! It is amazing!